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Okay we are now into week 19. Here is a short summary. Jooae is eating better and this weeks food is dumplings. She’s eating Korean, Chinese, steamed, fried, anything wrapped around a delicate flour wrapping. She also is less nauseous which is always a good thing. She thinks that maybe, just maybe she feels the baby kicking but is not sure. It is possible at this stage, according to THE BOOK, but many first time pregnant women cannot distinguish it from normal belly grumbling.
We had our big ultrasound to go over all the anatomy of the baby. This time we didn’t have quite as clear a screen to look at, but the baby is bigger so things are easier to see. The main point of the ultrasound is to check development of the important stuff - brain, heart, spine, etc. Jooae knew what we were looking at, but to me in felt invasive. I mean, I don’t even know the little guy/guyette yet and her we are peering all throughout his/her insides. I am sure years from now he will be resentful of this (did I just say ‘he’, oh woops - nah just kidding we are keeping it as a surprise). I guess everything looks okay, I just know he/she had the requisite number of fingers and toes. Still it is pretty cool to see our little one again and hear the hearbeat. So as far as baby growth goes, she (just balancing the use of pronouns here) is about the size of the palm of your hand. Way cool.
So, I have decided to include, amongst my little ‘observations’ of pregnancy from the man’s perspective, weekly updates of what is going on with Jooae and the baby - especially now that things are getting more interesting. Therefore every Monday will be a recap of the progression of the pregnancy. The first thing that must be said is a comment on how in the world they came up with this numbering system. For example, on Saturday we finished our 17th week, so do we say we are 18 weeks, in our 18th week, or have finished 17 weeks? Jooae and I have gone back and forth with this. This is not to even talk about months or trimesters. To be honest, it is a strange way to mark time. Basically you start from the date of the last menstrual period (sorry guys out there for mentioning the ‘p’ word) and then count off 40 weeks until the baby is due. Ha! It’s not nine months! I have been lied to all these years. Anyway, enough of my diatribe, here is the update:
At 18 weeks (in the 18th week, finished 17 - oh, whatever) Jooae is much improved as far as ‘morning’ sickness goes. She is occasionally nauseous (and what do you know, it is actually in the morning), but is eating much better (and gaining weight - see next post). We are in a post-pho-phase (see last post) and nothing else has exactly filled the craving gap (though bagels and cream cheese come close). Jooae actually bought some rubber gloves which may signal that she will return to the kitchen sometime soon (see New Deal on Dishes post), but the smell of the sink still keeps her at bay.
In baby growing news, according to What to Expect While Your Expecting (hereafter referred to as THE BOOK), the veritable bible for expectant moms and their clueless husbands (seriously I can’t tell you how many times people have recommended the book to us. We bowed to the pressure and bought it, and it has been quite helpful actually). Anyway, according to THE BOOK, our baby is around 5.5 inches and 5 ounces, which, they say, is about the size of a chicken breast - for some reason they always link the baby’s size to a food item; it’s quite disturbing really. We may be able to start feeling kicks and the baby has fingerprints now (which is good to know in case it commits some in-utero crime).
Also something that is cool is that we are now in the 18-20 week zone to get the BIG ultrasound that checks everything about the baby. That will be next Monday, so stay tuned for those details.
This has been an update, please return to your regularly scheduled web browsing.
I would do anything: including getting pho - you know, Vietnamese beef noodle soup - 5 times in the last week and a half. It seems my dearest one has moved from PB&J (see last post) to craving this soupy, noodley goodness. I try to ply her with other possible foods, but now she insists that she could eat pho everyday at every meal. I wonder if this is true - probably not because the next craving will come along. So in the meantime we have been checking out various noodle huts in the Portland area which, thankfully, there are many to choose from because Jooae doesn’t want to keep going to the same one in case they start giving her looks. Now, if you have not had pho before, you are really missing out. Basically it is a clearish, beefy broth with thin rice noodles and some onions. The fun part is what you can get included in it. The basic is very thin sliced beef brisket - you can choose lean, fatty or both - and thin sirloin. If you are more adventurous, you can also add things like tripe (you can google it), meatballs, tendons, and other yummy things. My theory is that the more of these types of offerings they have, the more authentically Vietnamese it is. Finally, you get a plate with beansprouts, sliced hot peppers, something like cilantro leaves, and limes. You can add various combinations of these things to add extra flavor. All in all it is a hearty, yet at the same time light, meal (its not an oxymoron, just try it). Whether you are pregnant or not, I believe you will enjoy it (and with that I will collect my kickback from the Vietnamese Pho Restaurant Association).  Get a Hot Bowlful of Goodness
Okay it has been a month since I wrote the previous blogs and Jooae is pretty much out of the ‘morning’ sickness stage. She is still not crazy about food (and forget about vitamins). Since we have now gotten to this place, I want to give a shout out to something I couldn’t have done without this last month - the good old PB&J sandwich. It has been about the only thing that Jooae consistently will eat. So we start the day with a PB&J waffle with milk, and make a sandwich for lunch (sometimes she even asks for two). Considering that all other foods go in and out of craving in like 5 seconds, I have been grateful for the lasting dependability of PB&J - a good source of protein and carbohydrates.
So to you Mr. Georgia peanut farmer, George Washington Carver, and the Smuckers Brothers, I give you thanks a plenty. I could not have done it without you.
Now I just hope our baby doesn’t develop an allergy to peanuts.
We had our first ultrasound today. Once again I was armed with only the knowledge gained from TV (see ‘Morning’ Sickness is a Lie) about ultrasounds. On TV they are these fuzzy pictures that no one can really decipher except for the doctor. Armed with this incredibly sound knowledge, I went into our appointment with low expectations of what we could see, except for knowing we would hear a heartbeat. My first pleasant surprise was that Jooae did not have to disrobe and/or expose herself (cf. last post). She did have to come with a nearly bursting bladder though, but that was the only discomfort. The nurse/doctor/technician (I honestly can’t remember) had her pull up her shirt and squirted some translucent goo (think hair gel) on her belly (it was thoughtfully pre-warmed). Then she simply put on the ultrasound laser (I know it’s an oxymoron, but it sounds cooler) and flipped on the monitor. There in stunning black and white-ish were Jooae’s innards. Right in the middle, surrounded by a black silhoutte (which I was to learn is the amniotic fluid) was an easily identifiable baby!
(I am going to wax emotional here, so guys you can skip to the next paragraph, unless you want to be a real man and read on.)
I could not believe what I saw. There before my eyes was our moving, heart beating, arms waving little guy or guy-ette. The head, arms, and legs were easily distinguishable. The heart beating away (good, strong heart) nearly brought tears to my eyes. Even as I write this I am welling up a bit. Here was our little miracle that God provided in living color (okay black and white). The clarity was amazing. I swear he/she (by the way we are going to keep the sex a surprise until birth-day) was waving at us with the cutest little arm. The baby seemed so big but really is only 3.24 cm (to be exact) at almost 11 weeks. Suddenly the notion that we are having a baby became very real and exciting. A pregnancy test is one thing, but there is nothing like seeing your baby there moving around to make it hit home that you are a daddy-to-be!
Like going to a photo booth (though probably a bit more expensive), they gave us a strip of pictures of our kiddo. I am in a conundrum of what to do. Do you frame them on the wall or make wallet sized versions to start showing off? Any suggestions are welcome, and of course here is one of the pictures:
 Our little one at 10 weeks
FOR MEN
Okay, I am speaking to you guys here. You know how we complain about going to the doctor and getting that ‘look-right-and-cough’ exam with our pants pulled down to our knees? Stop whining because it is nothing like what women have to go through at their female doctor visits.
OKAY WOMEN CAN JOIN NOW
We went to our first pregnancy doctor visit, and wow, my eyes are opened to what women have to go through. I am going to give this from the guys perspective here so pardon any ignorance I show. Guys, this may be too much for you so it is okay if you have to stop reading (wimp). Jooae had told me how these things go down, but it is quite different to be an eyewitness.
The first exam was more or less a basic gynecological exam plus blood work and such. I was there basically to answer like 3 questions about my health history. So here’s how it goes: first they have you disrobe and put on one of those uncomfortable hospital type robes. Actually for women they wrap around the front like a normal bathrobe. After taking the medical history, the nurse asks you to lay back and put your feet in these stirrup things. So basically the woman is laying there with all her glory exposed to the world. Wait guys, it gets worse. The nurse grabs this instrument that basically was a cold metal shoehorn - I kid you not. I think the point was to, eh, stick it into a very sensitive place in order to pry it open. Now as I was watching this, a few thoughts came to mind. Surely after decades of female care, they could have devised an instrument that was perhaps a bit more comfortable for women. I mean, come on, cold metal? I am pretty sure that we have devised other materials in the twentieth century that could be used. I was thinking something like the Dr. Scholls gel inserts for shoes (to stick with the shoehorn analogy). This would be more comfortable and maybe could be warmed. Just a thought. Anyway, then the nurse takes some swabs for something they call a ‘pap smear’ - if that is not a positive sounding test name, I don’t know what is. Meanwhile the woman just lies there helpless. Seriously, this has got to be against some ethical code or something. Of course the biggest disgrace is that you are paying for this to be done to you. I have a new respect for women.
Guys, stop whining (you know what I mean).
I discovered, while still in the midst of Jooae’s ‘morning’ sickness, that I have a new job. I am a short order cook. Ding-ding now open for business. With food in general and vitamins in particular causing Jooae such pain, it has been a challenge to find things that appeal to her. Since I am doing all the cooking now (see previous post New Deal on Dishes), I feel it is my responsibility to find something my baby(s) can get down and maybe keep down. Here’s a typical day:
1. Wake up and put an assortment of food in a lunch box that Jooae may or may not eat. The
more variety the better because who knows what will appeal to her at breakfast and at lunch.
2. In the afternoon think of something that will appeal to her and start preparing
3. Jooae gets home and declares that she is in the mood for something else
4. I either make that item or go buy it
Of course I can make something she wants but then after the first bite, her taste may change. Thus the ’short’ in short order.
People have recommended different things to eat to help with the nausea. Let’s see there is sliced granny smith apples -nope; watermelon - negatory; ginger - nada; cherries - nein; and assorted other things that don’t work. Jooae is just special.
The end result is that we have a refrigerator full of food that Jooae can’t eat, so needless to say, I am getting fat. More importantly, I worry about Jooae getting enough calories. Lately kimbob (Korean rice and seaweed rolls - like sushi rolls but no raw fish) seem to be working for her, so we will go with that. Vitamins are another deal. Just the thought of her pre-natal vitamin makes her want to hurl. A friend suggested Flintstones to at least get something and they are a bit better (and finally some advice that works for Jooae!). I at least finally get my childhood dream of eating Flintstones vitamins (’10 million strong and growing’ - but I guess it’s more than that now since that was the 70s).
As previously mentioned, Jooae is not a happy camper in her first trimester since the, mis-named, ‘morning’ sickness has taken over (please let it end after the 12th week). I am now in a very interesting position as the husband. Up to this point, we have always had a division of labor around the house. I took care of general cleaning and taking care of the trash while Jooae did the dishes. We both did cooking and laundry. Now the smell of food - even just the sink, sends her stomach into convulsions. So, we made a new labor contract. Since I have a flexible schedule, I told her if she could make it to work and back home, I will take care of everything else. Thus I have become cook, cleaner, laundryman, and everything else around the house. It is awesome. You may think I jest or that I have sold away my manhood, but this is simply not the case. I tell you, I have not been more productive in all areas of my life like I am now in awhile. Once you get a system down, you just roll with it. I think this is good training for when the baby comes which, I will assume, will be even harder (I guess stay tuned for a postpartum blog on that subject). Let me give an example of how this works. First. let’s just say Jooae and I are not the most organized folks. So, dishes and things stack up pretty easily. What I have discovered (and please don’t laugh at the common sense of this you neat-nicks) is that if you just do the dishes after each meal and wipe down the kitchen after each use, then cleaning is a breeze. In the same way, a quick spruce up around the house each day for a half hour helps control the clutter. Go figure. This concept has revolutionized my organizational abilities. Now I see what I can squeeze in in brief moments of time whether it is some cleaning, doing some work, or studying. I am more focused in all these areas as well. I am telling you, you don’t need Stephen Covey or any organizational gadgets, just get yourself a pregnant wife going through ‘morning’ sickness.
Jooae was doing great that first week we found out she was pregnant. We were reading online about what to expect and everything was on track. We told our families and were generally feeling right as rain. Oh how that changed in the next week - the sixth week of pregnancy. Now my understanding of morning sickness, you have to understand, was obtained from that great medical teacher TV. On all the shows, the pregnant character woke up, threw up, and then went on her merry way throughout the day - thus ‘morning’ sickness. This is a lie. What it should be called is ‘all-day-24/7-I-am-going-to-die-if-I-eat’ sickness and it struck my poor Jooae hard. Suddenly things that were fine before now had crazy-bad smells. In fact Jooae picked up some sort of superhero smelling ability to detect the slightest waft of fragrance in the air that made her nauseous. I knew it was serious when her usual excitement about eating (she’s small, but boy she can pack it away) vanished. All food - except of course chocolate and ice cream - lost any interest to her.
Jooae is a champion, though. I have always told her she is a tough Korean woman (never mess with her - that’s free advice) and she shows it in stoically facing her pregnant fate. I know morning sickness effects women differently, but guys, let me tell you, just be prepared for the worst and don’t think like me that it is called ‘morning’ because that’s the only time it occurs.
I was slumbering as only one does on an early holiday morning - deeply. I groggily realized that Jooae was standing over me waving some contraption in the air and being all giddy-like. Before I was fully with it, she was declaring that she was pregnant. I realized the contraption was a pregnancy test (which, if you know how they work, realize it was kind of gross to be waving around). Now, you have to understand my frame of mind to get the full picture. As mentioned in my previous post, we had been working hard at getting pregnant since December. Jooae had thought a couple of times that she was pregnant and so had gone through a number of pregnancy tests already. Of course, in our excitement at the possibility, we were really bending their design ramifications by testing early (that and they were the cheap versions you could by at WINCO - West Coast people you know what I am talking about). So you can imagine the hint of skepticism at the results - that and getting my sleepy eyes to figure out if it was a blue plus or what.
After getting into the light and confirming the results, I literally did not know what to think. We had been trying to get to this point and were disappointed each time we didn’t. Now that there was the reality, I was dumbfounded - now what? But the coolest thing was to look into my Jooae’s face and see the joy on it (which was a huge change from when we went to bed and she was grieving over her first traffic ticket received that night from a not very nice police officer). Wow, we are going to be parent’s. Happy Memorial Day (can you say that?)!
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